` SIMPLICITY <33 ________

STORIE =]

Tuesday 2 April 2013

Hey guys, how's my week? Traumatised by this girl I recently confessed.... Previously I mentioned the deal.... Seems like she doesn't even rhino of me as a good friend and even talk to me at all.... Its kind of sad and angry too... Cause its sad that she stop talking to me and start treating me seriously... And angry cause she broke our promise after my confession... Its like a discarded item after use...but what am I really saying anyways... Before my confession, I was the only that started to talk to her... She Nvr even tried to talk to me... Now she's talking to my bro everyday during the holidays... A person she rarely talks to or I talk to her more... Now she's offering to pick him up in rowville everyday... Saying hes special bit he is special to me too and I don't want to get angry at him.. not that I am now... I know he's talking to her cause I told him about my confession.. we joke any it sometimes but I get really pissed off with her if this keeps up. Every since that day, she rarely talks to me,I felt like I was really an annoyance to her,I felt she didn't want to talk to me.her text were fairly short and straight to the point. No elaboration or any feeling associated to her text, could it be I've done something bad?? Thoughts like this makes me angry at myself like why didn't she talk to me like she is with my bro.. and the conclusion I could come out with is that because I'm fat and lovable, its always the appearance that pissed me off. Girls I know always said that appearance comes second and that personality comes first, so does my new guy personality turns u off?? Does me willingly wishes to do as Mich as I can and offer as much time I could to you sounds burdensome?? Wouldn't girls find it romantic?? I really hate love, it makes me unable to solve and deduce the problem... Isit because of my glasses?? My voice?? I felt that my appearance is always a problem with girls... Since primary school till now... First I was fat and chubby, then I got to wear glasses... Wore braces during high school... Its always something preventing me from enjoying love... Maybe I'm destined to be the forever alone nice guy...... Its sad that because of this whole agenda that I'm remembering my previous pain.. a tape recorder playing back sad.miserable.lonely memories... Maybe I'm destined to be the ideal Wingman... I've done a lot for my friends in highsch and they are still together now... Thinking if its just me...I even gave up on a girl I love in highschool just cause my friend likes her... Miracle and tragedy.. why did I gave up? LOOKS... He has the package, Mr popular, sometimes even if u know her for a long time, life just wants to kick u up the ass so that you fail...and its clique to say if you fall down, get back up again but how many scars can a heart take, how many life can a man show if none of his life and personality is loved by the one he loves... I blame myself for all this, I know you Nvr treat me special, or even thought of me as a candidate cause I know I'm Nvr good enough for anyone, my looks, my fats and my glasses... Its just painful to let dreams go away... Dreams, what are dreams... I always wanted to be a kind hearted man, a nice guy. I told my grandma that I would get a decent job and take care of her when I was young, cried when I dreamt of losing her... Remembering it brings me sadness.. I know at this point of time no one will read this but let me be. If I can't even gave my grandma a part of my wage, I've failed life, I've failed my only dream I wished to fulfill. After all this I can't blame her for nor thinking that we were more than friends... Even good friends.. but she should have showed how I important a friend I was to her, can't she remember the time I spent waiting with her, hanging out with her, now I'm starting to wonder if she took all of it for granted, I guess that's why nice guy gets look over, they are always there for their friends so they are overlook while other people that offers little time and stays with her somehow implies and makes her feel special... Maybe I suicide?? LOL nah, it is a hassle, but I'm gonna bury my old self and lock it in a chamber, toss the key into the Nvr ending to rivers of the amazon. Ill should start anew. But I hope she remembers what the old me did for her cause when I change, I'm not going to be the same.

simplicityrulez* @ 06:40

Sunday 31 March 2013

We made a deal to remain the same after all this but you went back on your word and now im left here pondering whether my confession was a mistake knowing. I knew you the answer but i told you so that i could get this off my chest but now, you're different from before. Your smile and laughter is different and it makes me feel burdensome. Maybe its just me that kept our deal. I wished you kept yours.

simplicityrulez* @ 05:36